is it normal for little boys to tell their friends that if you they don't give them there toys that they will either hurt them or do other unkind things to them? is it just me, or this a weird way to act? "A" has now had 2 friends do this. it doesn't seem to make him upset, but i know that it bothers him. he is a really sweet boy, but luckily he isn't giving in with this. one boy has told him that if he doesn't give him his ipod or some of his transformers that he will hurt him (and actually has!)--the other was yesterday at school. his friend told him that if he didn't give him something he would make sure that his mom doesn't buy him a birthday present. silly!!!! i didn't grow up around boys, but this just seems crazy.
Maybe it's normal?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
is this normal??
Posted by di at 6:26 AM
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4 comments:
My guess is that these kids have older siblings and they are probably repeating what they hear at home!
Hope all is well!
I don't think it's just a boy thing. I've heard my girls say to each other..."if you don't do this or give me this, I'm not going to be your friend anymore." Fortunately they're not threatening each other with violence, but for girls the emotional hurt is far worse...the threat of not being friends...oh, the horror! Anyway, it is threat talk and it's not good. They are learning it from someplace. If they bully somebody enough, they can potentially get what they want. We always teach our girls that bullies only bully because they're really just sad and lonely. If they're being aggressive, walk away, but if they're not, maybe they just need a friend. And ALWAYS tell the teacher or the adult if somebody is hurting you or threatening to hurt you. It's heartbreaking to hear stories like that isn't it? Makes me want to turn around and bully the kid who's picking on my kid, for sure.
That is puzzling. Threatening physical harm? Not good. I've heard my boys say stuff like, 'I won't be your friend, if you don't give me ___(whatever it is they are after). But I try to catch them and correct it immediately.
I'd chalk it up to bad parenting. (Not on your part ;-) Bullying is very real, unfortunately, and it's not acceptable in my book no matter how innocent it seems. It might start with small things, but it will only get worse as they get older.
I will say that despite our best efforts, our kids still "negotiate" with each other to get what they want. It's ususally, if you clean my room, I'll give you some gum...but rarely is it "if you don't give me something, then..."
Good luck!!!!
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