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Friday, August 29, 2008

I'm scared

Sometimes being a grown up is not all that fun. I cannot believe that I am old enough to face "grown up" trials. Over the past several weeks I have discovered a lump in one of my breasts. We thought that it was a clogged milk duct. I tried several things that were recommended by my OB, but nothing made the lump disappear. On Thursday I had to have an ultrasound. "K" was not able to take off work so my sister came with me. I am sooooooo blessed to have the husband, kids, sisters, and parents that I do! What a blessing they are in my life! My nurse called a few hours after the ultrasound and said that they don't think that it is a cancer, but that it is probably a collection of cysts. They have scheduled a needle guided ultrasound biopsy to confirm that it is not cancerous. I am trying to hold it all together, but I am really having a hard time. I cannot see the screen as I am typing. I am sooooo scared. I am trying to trust my Heavenly Father that he is aware of me and this sitution. I have found a lot of comfort through prayer, hymns and primary songs, and reading. My sisters took me and "H" out for a girl's night. I am having the hardest time getting my mind off of it. So, my house is getting very clean, my primary binder is getting well organized, and now on to some PTA things. The ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday. I need to relax!!!!!

9 comments:

auntie said...

Di, I wish there was something we could do to reduce the fear you are facing. I really do believe that things will be okay. You are strong and greatly blessed. Know that you are very much in all our thoughts and prayers!!!

kmmclain said...

You will be okay. I totally understand though. I found a lump awhile back and luckily it turned out to be nothing. Stay close to Heavenly Father and all will be well.

Call me if you need to talk.

kbg said...

Di, you're going to be fine!! Please try to calm down and know how much you are loved by all of us. We're all praying for you.

Annie said...

DI!!!! Oh how I wish I were close enough to give you a big squeeze! You are in my prayers!!

Love,
Annie

Kristen said...

I found a lump freshman year of college. They diagnosed it as simply a mass of fibrous tissue. I recently had it ultrasounded, just to keep track of it. It was sort of humorous to me, because at the "breast center" of our hospital, there's the regular waiting room, then you go and take off your top and get one of the lovely "robes" that open to the front, and then wait in a "changing room/waiting room." So I'm sitting there waiting with half a dozen other women in the same garb and wondering-do men have to go through this same situation? I don't think they are grouped together with towels around their waists, waiting for prostate exams. The results of my ultrasound came back as the same benign tissue mass. I trust you will be fine too. Maybe it's just something aggrivated by nursing? Everything will be fine. Good luck!

Angie said...

That is so scary--and dealing with a new baby on top of that has to be stressful. I'm glad you're in the hands of very capable medical help. All will be well.

Garden House Floral said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you . Karlie

Tiffany said...

Hang in there and know how many people love you and are praying for you! Keep us posted.

kener4 said...

Diane,
I just know everything is going to be okay. Heavenly Father knows your place is here with your beautiful children. I will keep you in my prayers. Please keep me posted. Good luck!